Patterns of life, the patterns that shape us.

It struck me this morning that Shirlee's death hit me a lot harder than I realized. Shirlee was my connection to old patterns where life was an adventure, full of possibilities. Even as she faced death what impressed me about Shirlee was how alive she was. Every day was a gift to be lived to the full. You could not spend time around Shirlee and Bruce and their family without getting caught up in that. To be with them was to be refreshed, to feel you were connecting to patterns deep inside that wanted to be free.

I have gotten away from that. My patterns have been the relentless gray flow of days and dealing with the stuff of life, skimming along the surface of life, more mindless than mindful.

It is a pattern that needs to be broken.

Thankfully, there are other patterns in play, deep patterns of the heart. Part and parcel of the relentless flow of days are the weekly and annual celebrations of God's grace; every Sunday is a commemoration of Easter. The light of Jesus breaks though the gray. Jesus gives us eyes to live beyond the patterns that bind us and to create new ones, full of hope and possibility.

Getting on the bike yesterday was a breath of fresh air. Celebrating the Eucharist ("Thanksgiving") this morning was a breath of grace.

Thanks be to God.

I took the photo on Good Friday, but in this right-angle double exposure with the cross standing empty and the light breaking through the middle, it feels more like Easter to me. Since I was sick and in bed on Easter morning, it will have to do.

Yashica-D TLR
Kodak TMax 400 120 roll film
Epson Perfection V500 Photo scanner